If you’re glad that 2022 is over and thinking to yourself that it couldn’t get any worse, you ain’t seen nothing yet. Get ready for 2022 “The Sequel” a.k.a. 2023!
Here are some predictions for the coming year! Some are tongue in cheek and some are real. That’s the fun part of this little story. The $#!+ in store for us this year will be so outrageous that most people when they hear it for the first time will think it’s a joke. It isn’t!
So here we go with 23 predictions for 2023:
1. Joe Biden will be mistakenly given the Pfizer vaccine instead of his prescribed saline shot and dies in office from a massive stroke. The press will report his death as just more “Russian Disinformation” to help Donald (trigger-warning) “Trump” win re-election in 2024.
2. (Related to #1) Nobody from Pennsylvania will notice. I mean, they elected (Vax injured & cognitively impaired) John “brain dead” Festerman to the Senate didn’t they?
3. (Related to #’s 1 & 2) Kamala Harris will “suck” (pun intended) so bad at being the new P.O.t.u.S. (emphasis on the “POS” mine) that no one will notice that old Joe is gone!
4. Elon Musk will select one of his social media icon favorites “Catturd” to be the new CEO of Twitter and the name of the organization will be officially changed to Twit-turd!
5. Chunky Yogurt, titular head of the failing Alternative News Site “The Young Turks” (TYT) will try to horn in on the success of the new Twit-turd and rebrand themselves as “The Young Turds!” Three out of their five regular viewers won’t notice the change.
6. New Twit-turd CEO will reinstate Alex Jones!
7. All of the job gains claimed by the Biden maladministration since taking office, essentially rehires of those let go during the Plan-demic, will be laid off or let go in 2023.
8. George Soros, Klaus Schwab, Bill Gates and “Winnie” Xi “Pooh Bear” Jinping will be all caught on a hot mic (and video camera) in Davos Switzerland planning to overthrow the US and establish their New World Order where the people will own nothing and are told to be happy, or else, while they’ll own everything and be so much happier and the press will claim its all just more “Russian Disinformation!”
9. The mainstream media will be incorporated into the US government and officially rebranded as the “Ministry of Propaganda.” Nobody will notice any changes in the content!
10. Kari Lake will win her appeal in the State Supreme Court and be installed as Governor of Arizona. The press will claim that it’s all just a Russian disinformation campaign and that Katie Hobbes is still the Governor. They will give her 24/7 coverage from her padded cell that is decorated to look like the governor’s office.
11. Alex Jones will win his appeal and the lawyers of the Sandy Hook victims families will be made to pay damages to the families they mislead and to Alex Jones. They’ll all immediately file for bankruptcy and leave the country for the Cayman Islands.
12. Rep Adam “Schitt,” (spelled that way on purpose) D-CA, will officially announce he’s running for US Senate (Di-Fi’s seat). Di-Fi won’t notice and neither will the people of California.
13. Rep Eric Swalwell will be photographed in a compromising way while vacationing in Beijing with the Spy Who Loved Him, Christine Fang. Everyone will now know why he’s known as Eric “Small-well!”
14. The US stock market will crash marking the beginning of “The Greatest Depression!” The media will spin it as another Biden maladministration success story. When that doesn’t work, they’ll claim it’s all just more Russian Disinformation to benefit Donald (trigger-warning) “Trump!”.
15. China will officially annex Taiwan. The Western media will spin it as a great victory for US diplomacy and nobody will notice that in the fog of war, the US lost an entire Carrier Battle Group without even firing a single shot or launching a single plane off the deck.
16. Russia will win its war with Ukraine, Voldomyr Zelenskyy will flee the country with hundreds of millions in US cash and start a YouTube Channel where he’ll claim to be leadership in exile and use it as a platform to bilk millions more from virtue signaling Hollywood celebrities and bourgeoise country club liberals. The Biden Crime Family will continue to take Joe’s 10% cut up front and off the top in memoriam.
17. The FBI will deliberately destroy Hunter Biden’s laptop and claim it got lost. The press won’t notice it, let alone report it and if on the odd chance they do, it will be labelled as “Russian Disinformation.”
18. California Governor Gavin “Gruesome” Newsom will throw his hair gel into the ring and announce he’s running for P.O.t.u.S. (emphasis on the POS mine).
19. During the discovery phase of the Florida Grand Jury “vaccine inquiry,” sufficient evidence, with the help of whistleblowers, will be found to indict Anthony Fauci, Bill Gates and the rest of the Big Pharma oligarchs for Fraud, Treason and Crimes Against Humanity. The press-tit-ute media will spin it as “Russian Disinformation!”
20. Tom Brady will retire from Football, again, only to un-retire, again, in order to pay his legal fees for the FTX scandal.
21. Steve Bannon, Steve Kirsch, Dr. Peter McCullough, Dr. Robert Malone, Dr. Naomi Wolf and a few others will all be nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize for their work exposing the Covid-19 Vaccine cabal for crimes against humanity. They’ll lose to some unknown monk who spent the last five decades sitting in a temple in the Himalayas pondering the intrinsic value of belly-button lint simply because the world isn’t ready to hear the truth.
22. Dr. Jill Biden will throw her wig into the ring and announce that she’s running for P.O.t.u.S. (emphasis on the POS mine) in her late husband’s place. Nobody will remember who her late husband was.
23. Turkey’s President Recep Tayyip Erdogan will win re-election and declare Himself Caliphate of the new Ottoman Empire marking the “official” beginning of the Seven-Year Tribulation period written of in the Book of Revelation.